We Got the Beat

Teen youth workers set up 29 chairs and drums in a wide circle on the grass. It’s 95 degrees outside the community center, but there is a breeze and two crab apple trees to shade us. Soon tween-agers arrive and sit in the chairs, waiting for the signal to begin. I send a broad smile around the circle and play the call rhythm – ‘Everybody it’s time to drum! Hear the sound of the group!” Most folks in the circle pump their arms, shout HUA and begin a loud rumble on the drums. So begins a session of the biggest summer drum circle I’ve ever led. We meet 13 times over 7 weeks and end with a performance. HUA stands for Hear, Understand, and Attitude.
I hoped to divide the 29 drums I have between two programs. When I asked why there were so many drummers this year, administrative staff suggested that they could offer an alternative activity for the 10 most ‘difficult’ young people. No way. not on my watch.  I left all the drums there and switched to bucket drumming for the other group. When a third group materialized, they too did bucket drumming. I can add a bucket drummer to a group for the price of a home improvement store bucket, a mallet, and a dowel – well under $20.  Hand drums run in the hundreds.

Safe, Nurturing Space

You might wonder why removing ‘trouble makers’ is so terrible. But there are ways they need drumming the most. What a drum circle offers is a chance to succeed: a way to get past fears and low self-esteem. Most importantly, drumming offers a community within their community. I’ve watched outsiders gain respect, watched barriers break down and unlikely friendships form over drumming. Drumming has the potential to teach resilience and cooperation without any spoken words. A drum circle can be a safe, nurturing place where everyone is accepted as doing the best they can.

We do a backbeat routine that goes boom boom tap t’ boom boom tap! 3 times followed by a four-beat rest. It takes a lot of self-control to stop for those four beats, but it’s essential for the next step in the routine. The first lesson is to tap and boom the drum, if you are doing that, you are doing it right. If you are doing it more like I’m demonstrating, you are even more right. If you’re letting yourself have fun doing it, you are the most right of all! Many younger drummers have a difficult time stopping for the rests.  Some older ones who learn the sequence quickly, have also learned another less positive pattern. They’ve discovered they feel more important when they correct others. If they can do it in clever or snarky ways, they also get more attention from peers. The challenge for me is to catch this just as it is starting and interrupt. I say something like:
 “Have you noticed that it’s really hard for many people to stop for the rests? Do you see me putting my sticks high in the air so I remember? But there are other ways to remember too. Look, Jordan has got this down!  Jordon, for this piece, I want you to be a mentor. It’s an important job, but I think you can do it! Switch places with Rory, and sit by Angel. Angel, I see you have so much energy and enthusiasm that it’s hard to stop. So I want you to watch Jordan and stop whenever they stop. And Jordan, I’d like you to raise your sticks and smile at Angel each time. We all help each other get better!”
So Angel gets a hero, Jordan gets a much better boost to the ego, and the circle proceeds to the next level.
When teaching, I’m fully present, in the zone, in a collaborative, mindful, running conversation with Spirit. I’m deeply observing details; listening and watching the beloved humans I serve for opportunities to encourage their best selves.

I See You
The second time we set up the circle, teen youth worker Jessie asked for help with a difficult rhythm. It was frustrating not to get it perfect the first time like some of the tweenagers. I demonstrated it slowly, breaking it down. Practicing the steps, Jessie got much closer.
I said “you’ll get it with a little more time and practice, don’t worry about it. I appreciate your willingness to mess up and keep going! Remember the first rule, if you’re tapping the drum you’re doing it right! If you’re doing it more like I’m showing you are just more right”
Looking at me with shining brown eyes, Jessie said “you love us don’t you.”
Caught off guard, I tried to maintain unflappability. “Well, yes. Of course. How did you know?”
Jessie said, “I just know. You kind of just be love. I do have another question - why don’t you tell the bored, sulking cool kids slumping in their chairs with their arms crossed the whole time that you love them?”
I smiled “Do you think they would listen or believe me?”
“Well, no.” he laughed.
“I never told you” I pointed out.
“Fair” he replied.
I looked him in the eye “Jessie, did you know YOU are being love?”
He looked perplexed. “Me? How?”
“By being willing to mess up. When they see you are messing up but still having a good time and keep trying, that is being love. You show others it is ok to mess up and ok to have fun doing it.”
“I guess the arm crossers think they are too cool for drumming.”
“Maybe, but I think it’s something else. I think it’s that they are afraid.”
“Huh? How could the cool kids be afraid?”
“Some of them are afraid of being laughed at, some of them don’t feel safe yet. Some might not ever feel safe enough to drum with us. But most of them will. Watch and see.”
“I would have never guessed they are afraid, but it’s crazy enough to be true.”
The group came then, and the conversation ended.
During the solos, on only the second circle, a tough tween, Shiloh, unexpectedly hit the drum – boom, boom, boom boom, when their solo turn came. I had thought Shiloh might be the last holdout, had guessed at least two-three more weeks to any kind of participation in my mind. I glanced over at Jessie, who was smiling from ear to ear!

I had never bucket drummed before this summer, but I gave myself a crash course on YouTube and asked a lot of questions on Facebook forums. I could play djembe all day, but bucket drumming is hard on old arms. Still, I’d make the same choice again in a heartbeat.  A drum circle is much more than learned rhythms and cooperative behavior. It is, for a time, a safe place to grow. Each time we gather to drum – on buckets or floor drums, more unnecessary divisions fall, and we become, for a time, a community of belonging. Being a tiny part of this small change gives me so much hope.

So I ask you, where or who are your communities of belonging? What can you do to be love? What small change can you be a part of in the world? Tough, cool Shiloh is becoming a terrific drummer, and mentoring a drummer in the next chair.