Sparkly Red Dance Shoes
Sparkly Red Dance Shoes
Just over a month ago, I dreamed of a journey. On a dark, moonless night, I crept carefully along a narrow path. To my right, there was a sheer drop-off. I heard rushing water way down below. I leaned into the cool, uneven rock face on my left to avoid tumbling into the abyss below. Each step ahead was a wary, anxious ordeal. Even so, I managed to slam my foot into a stone. My heart thumped — surely I’d plunge into the chasm. Instead, there was light…coming from my foot? I looked down. A sparkly red dance shoe glowed brightly, illuminating the path. Curious, I cautiously kicked the other foot against the cliff side. Another sparkly red dance shoe lit up. Perplexed, but feeling much safer with a view of the trail, I continued up. I emerged at the top into a broad meadow of wildflowers, swaying in the rosy pre-dawn heralding the sunrise.
Waking up moments later, I wrote out the dream in morning pages. For balance and simplicity, I wear flat lace-up black sneakers almost all the time. Sparkly red light-up dancing shoes are not for these aging, wide, puffy feet. What was I processing? What was I trying to tell myself? I’ve sat with this dream, and other signs, over the last month. I’m beginning to understand, and plan to put my conclusions to the test.
The Path So Far
For the last 6 months, I have been wandering around in a kind of desert. My most beloved job finished at the end of last year. After rest and some recovery, I began the search for something to replace it and found nothing. I have always had something to pay the bills while I pursue the call of my heart — and for the last five years, I’ve been privileged to have a job that also fits into that. I’m a lifelong learner and a polymath: a composer, artist, inventor, writer, teacher, and deep listener. I nurture collaborative communities of belonging. As a music director and teacher, I serve four choral communities and teach youth drum circles. I host an early morning writing group, a virtual church community, and practice deep listening as a spiritual director. This call to nurture and listen extends to other communities I’m part of and what I’ve planned for this fall is even more exciting!
So how does the overnight precipice trek without hiking boots fit in? I’m on a new journey. I’ve always had too much responsibility to see what would happen if I simply followed my heart. I imagined that one day, one of my creative efforts would go viral, or I’d somehow be discovered. But life is too short to keep throwing spaghetti ideas at a wall and hoping something will stick. I’ve decided to try my hand at creating my own recipe for success.
I work to give the people I serve the confidence and success to believe they can achieve great things. It’s time to look in the mirror and do the same for myself. They are beloved, amazing, creative humans — every one! I’m starting to believe it’s time to see myself that way too; to discard expectations laid on me early in life and go big. I’ve nobody else to support or consider in this, and I already know how to vanlife if I need to (a great story for another day). So here I am on the first august day of a new chapter.
A New Chapter
Today, I join many dear Ninja Writers in committing to post a blog entry every day of August. I’ll share each day about what I’m learning on this journey, making art, stories, music, and nurturing communities. In my dream, my sparkly red shoes lit up in resonance with Spirit, ready to learn to dance on the precipice. Much will develop over this week, this month, and beyond.
For now, I have a question for you. What are your sparkly red dancing shoes? What dream have you been postponing or avoiding? What opportunities or strokes of luck have you delegated to the fates or others when the answers are within you the whole time?
Follow my journey wherever you’re reading this and look below for more information.
It’s going to be an interesting August.
